Bad Day

As someone who hates failure and doesn’t deal with it well, this wasn’t a good day.

In my train simulator training I ran through a Form B track bulletin which protects men and equipment on the track.   then I ran past a random red flag without stopping.  The tests were extra tricky but either way I didn’t pass it.  Its not a mandatory test for keeping my job or anything but its something I should be able to do.

That left me in a sour mood all day.

Tonight I couldn’t bowl well but one game out of 4.  Rotten.  Sick. 

Like I’ve posted before, this is why i’m not great at anything, because i get too pissed when I fail.

Its days like this I wish I had my own place, my place to be away from everyone.  soon enough.

I think this is also why I won’t get married.  I’m far more afraid of being with the wrong person than I am of being single.  Being single is a comfort zone.  Its easy, its simple, I don’t have to deal with any B.S. 

There’s enough to deal with in daily life, why compound it? 

Anyway i’m wandering.

Starting next monday I will be on my student conductor trips for 3 weeks.  I will be going from Kansas City to Des Moines…back and forth…and I should be doing most of the work myself, its supposed to be very hands-on unlike the  6 weeks of student yard work I did last month.

OK goodnight.